My writing is becoming like my songs. I’ll start a million books before I ever dream of finishing one.
Love doesn’t have to be on Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t have to be by the time...– David Levithan (How They Met, and Other Stories)
have-you-seen-my-haggis: So I just realised. A lot of people, when you say you have a friend on the internet, go “but you don’t know! They could be a middle aged man pretending to be an teenage girl!” They dont know that most of these people are my RP partners. And are teenage girls pretending to be middle aged men.
This song…. *dies*
videohall: Slinky is trying so hard
hipster blogs....you are the croc of tumblr
nintendofunclub: this is you
hannah: it's cray
me: you cray
hannah: no you cray
me: I know.
me: It's a blessing and a curse.
hannah: bro of my bros
me: gay of my gays?
hannah: aw yeah
Hannah... never change. Ever.
this advert. every time. endless lol.
Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
davidstrider: oh god whats going on ive never been kissed i hope this doesnt sound gross suddenly run-on sentences ugh i need to get kissed i have no reference material why would anyone ever shove their talking hole up against someone elses talking hole what if someone needs to burp what then what kind of person even invented kissing do animals kiss i dont know i bet single celled...
society: Everyone's beautiful.
society: Don't eat though, you don't want to get fat.
society: You don't eat? Anorexic freak!
society: You're a size 4? You're supposed to be a size 0!
society: You're an A cup? What are you, 8?
society: You're a C cup? That's my mums size.
society: You had sex?! Slut!
society: You haven't had sex? Hah, you're frigid!
society: You don't think you're pretty? Attention seeker!
society: You think you're pretty? Conceited much?
society: You believe in gay rights? Homo!
society: You don't believe in gay rights? Homophobic dickhead!
society: You're depressed? Attention seeker!
society: You cut yourself? Still attention seeking!
society: You can't go on? How much attention do you want?!
-someone kills themself-
society: Oh, they were so beautiful! Society sucks!
hhhholmes: brofisting: beyondtheseawaiting: fastforwardpauseplay: tyleroakley: Jeremy Renner singing New York State Of Mind on Jimmy Fallon. I was NOT expecting THAT voice out of THAT man. He’s fantastic! I CANT! He was already amazing and now this? Love it what the fuck